Unknown

"Being lonely doesn't mean something is wrong with me.

I can calmly experience loneliness
and learn to grow creatively from the
time with myself."

-Unknown



Thursday, November 6, 2014

Write, Write, Write





I’ve got to give credit to one of my favorite English teachers. She introduced me – and of course my class- to the joys of WUG.

No, WUG is not what you get when you cross a whale and a hog. It is not a new type of brush, eating utensil, or pen. Simply put, it means Writing Under the Gun. Basically, you put your pen on the paper and continuously write whatever pops into your mind. It’s a great exercise for anyone having that dreaded thing called ‘Writer’s Block’.

This is my first year participating in a writing adventure called NaNoWrMo – National Novel Writing Month. With as many stories as I have out in any format, you’d think I would have participated before this. Nope. It’s hard to get myself motivated enough to do anything extra in my life. Sometimes it takes me a year or more to take that giant step. Sometimes it all it takes is a horrible event making me feel out of control and wanting to change something.

Here’s a good example. A few years ago I had the Worst Boss Ever. And yet I think I owe her a bit of a thank you. I actually started publishing my work because I wanted to get away from her. She made me feel like I was three inches tall so I went fishing for something that would help me feel good about myself. Letting others read my stories was an outlet I had never really considered. Too many things held me back. Little things like ‘afraid I wasn’t good enough’ to ‘who would even want to read my thoughts, ideas and stories’? Sometimes we are our own worse critic.

So now I have decided to take that big step. And I’m glad I did. Not only did I deem myself worthy of joining the ranks of the elite writers, but I’m having fun doing it, too. I’ve made a few new friends and am exploring one of my hobbies. I’ve even managed to come quite a ways on the goal.

NaNoWrMo set the word count goal at 50,000 and so far I have a little over 20,000 words. (Impressive if I do say so myself.)

So, what does WUG have to do with NaNoWrMo? Easy. Sometimes my characters get into trouble and I have no idea how to get them out. Some of my more creative solutions are a product of WUG. Caleb versus the monster recliner (Halcyon’s Guardian) and Jasmine and the Puppet Master’s bet came out of one session. (Tangled Fury)


So wish me luck as I embark on this new chapter. NaNoWrMo here I come!
Keep smiling and happy reading

Inspirational song  for today: 
Rascal Flatts 
My wish for you

Friday, September 19, 2014

Misconceptions



Misconceptions are funny things.

Have you ever had an idea about what something is only to discover you were wrong? This recently happened to me.

I was checking out the local news report on TV when the reporter announced a story about the twelfth man arriving in Denver. Yeah. Exciting. Not. Who cares that there were now twelve men from Seattle in Denver? Yes. I see you laughing. In my defense, I’m not a sports fan. How would I know that’s not what it means? Besides, I thought the people behind the story were crazy. Couldn’t they count? Nearly every picture they showed had more than twelve people in it.

Ok, you can stop cackling now. I said I wasn’t a sports fan. 

I had to ask someone – after they stopped laughing – what was meant by twelfth man. For those out there who are also not sports fans, twelfth man apparently refers to the crowd. Eleven guys are allowed on the field from each team at a time. When the crowd cheers on their team or tries to use noise and catcalls to intimidate the opposite team, they are referred to as ‘twelfth man.’

The crowd and team together work like warriors of old, charging into battle with their swords raised and their shields polished, voices raised in war cries. I can see this being a good thing. It lets the crowd feel like they are a part of the team and they get to bask in the glory their team brings them.

So now I know what twelfth man is and it’s one less misconception I have. Now to uncover a few more. Like…

Sports fans are crazy. 

My friend is still laughing at me.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Sometimes I wish I was a better person



Sometimes I wish I was a better person.

I don’t think it’s going to happen, at least not anytime soon. Why? Because I have too many Pet Peeves that I cherish as close friends, but that doesn’t mean I can’t wish. Most of the people I know have similar Pet Peeve’s and if they are anything like me, they hug them tight to their chest, afraid someone else might see them. 

The worse part about hugging those Pet Peeves is that if you hold them too close, they don’t have room to grow, breath, and mature. I know, that sounds wonky. Why would I want a Pet Peeve to grow? Pet Peeves are merely a perspective and a limited one at that. It’s my perspective on how I think and see other people treating me. 

The Pet Peeve I'm currently wrestling is one I call ‘Time Waster’. Here’s a scenario that I’m sad to say actually happened. One day at work, I had a call from one of the other stores. There’s nothing usual about that. They were looking for a certain shoe in a certain size. I didn’t have it in stock so I let the other store know and I hung up. Case closed, moving on. Twenty minutes later I get a call from the other store for the same shoe. Okay, now that’s unusual, not unheard of, but unlikely enough for it to stick out like a sore thumb. Once again I tell the other store that I don’t have that shoe in stock. Hang up... Move on...

Now the Pet Peeve reared its ugly head.

Twenty minutes later, a scruffy-looking guy comes in to the shoe department and asks for help. Yep, you guessed it. He was the guy who had both the other stores call around for that damn shoe and then disbelieved them enough to go check for himself. My thoughts? ‘Did you think I was lying? If you were going to visit anyway, why did you have the other stores call? And why did you waste my time when you were told TWICE that I didn’t have the stupid shoe in stock?’ Yeah, thoughts. My mom would have been proud knowing I kept those and the less savory ones locked tight behind my teeth.

What did I actually say? “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t have that shoe in stock. I’ve had two other calls on it already, however, I’d be happy to help you look if you would like.”  - Yeah, like I didn't know he was the bloke behind the two other calls- So what happened? We looked for a shoe he’s been told a number of times doesn’t exist and then I sent him to the mall.

I couldn’t help it. Pet Peeve ‘Time Waster’ said, “Good. Now that idiot is someone else’s problem.”
See, if I was a better person and let this Pet Peeve grow up, I never would have thought, idiot. 
Unfortunately, this guy invited Time Waster's little sister out to play and she tends to make things just a little bit uglier. 'Time Waster' doesn’t usually start with the name calling until ‘Liar Implied’ shows up. She sees red when someone implies or calls her a liar. I don’t think that one will ever grow up.

So I'll keep hugging my Pet Peeves. And wishing I was a better person. Maybe someday that star will rise and take "Time Waster' and "Liar Implied' with it.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Sometimes the hardest thing is saying good-bye


I deleted a number from my phone today.

It was such a little thing. I've done it before, with little to no thought, and I will probably do it again. But this time it was different. I sat there staring at the tiny screen which now read "are you sure you want to delete this contact?" and I realized that no I didn't.

I wasn't ready to let go.

It was a purely selfish reflex, but thinking back on the years that I've known this lady, I realized that deleting this number may be the end to a phone contact - which I have so pathetically few - but it doesn't erase my memories.

Memories that I know from experience will sneak up and wallop you when you least expect them. You can be walking across the parking lot and remember that Fourth of July when we bought out the store's supply of fireworks and set them off, right there at that spot on the blacktop.

Memories that can fill your heart to overflowing: of watching her beloved granddaughter in gymnastics class while the two of you talk about what you want to do next summer.

Memories that can surprise you: of trying to raise money to replace gifts stolen from her car on that cold December morning and being given almost thirty dollars to help out from a stranger who overheard the plight.

Memories that can haunt you: of walking passed U-scan and still seeing her standing there wishing for a step stool so she could reach all the buttons. Of seeing her smiling face as she greeted each and every customer and took the time to learn more than their names.

Memories that will remain long after everything else has disappeared: of peeking in Playland and getting a laugh because the attendant is the same size as the kids.

I will treasure all the memories I have of my friend and I know everyone else in her large family will, also. So even as the tears fall drop by drop onto the keyboard, a smile is on my face because I know that Teri is and always will be loved.

I'm glad I knew her. She made my life better by being my friend and I for one will miss her greatly.

So, yes, little screen with your bold question. Yes I do want to delete this contact. Not because I no longer like or need this contact, but because this contact is now living in my heart and my memories.

Goodbye Teri
RIP July 2014